


Secret Keeper

by Mondhase



Series: Lies Are A Special Kind Of Poison [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Absent Parents, Drama, F/M, Post-Episode: s02e06 A Fractured House, Reveal, Romance, Talk with the ex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 10:45:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3444251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mondhase/pseuds/Mondhase
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lance Hunter has always hated secrets. They didn't just destroy his marriage, they messed up pretty much his whole life, and yet for years he has been keeping one himself. With him and Bobbi on the same team again, he knows it's time to finally come clean with her, even though he's sure that's not going to be pretty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secret Keeper

**Author's Note:**

> My take on a possible back story for Hunter. Set after episode 2x06 "A Fractured House", but not exactly canon-compliant to later episodes concerning Hunter's and Bobbi's past.

 

It had been a very slow day in the new SHIELD headquarters, with no dangerous missions requiring the team’s attention or any new Hydra threat emerging that would have kept them on their toes. Despite all that, however, Lance Hunter was extremely anxious as he was pacing the hallway leading to the gym, still trying to make up his mind on how to proceed.

He knew that Bobbi Morse, his ex-wife and legendary villain of most of his countless tales and stories, was in the gym alone, doing her usual workout, and that this was the perfect opportunity to talk to her in private. He needed to get something off his chest that he had been meaning to confess to her ever since she had come back into his life so unexpectedly. Now that the moment of truth was drawing closer, however, he actually found himself getting cold feet.

He repeatedly considered to just walk away again, knowing that nobody would ever find out about this. Every time he was about to leave, though, he reminded himself of all the fights they had had in the past and that, if he didn’t want their relationship to stay this messed up forever, this was his chance to hopefully change things between them for the better.

In the end, Hunter turned towards the door of the gym one more time and approached it determinedly, only to stop dead in his tracks yet again, the prospect of this conversation possibly turning into yet another fight quickly discouraging him.

“Oh, bugger it,” he muttered to himself and turned on his heel, but just as he was about to head back to his room, the door of the gym opened abruptly and Bobbi stood in the doorway, an annoyance written all over her face.

“Hunter, what do you want?” she called after him in an irritated tone, causing the British mercenary to stop and close his eyes tightly for a second, cursing inwardly. When he turned around to face her, he was doing his best to appear as innocent as possible.

“Me, want anything from you? Why would you think that? I didn't even know you were in there.”

Bobbi didn't seem to buy his obvious lie, though, and crossed her arms in front of her chest, her eyebrows raised slightly.

“Oh, please, you've been pacing up and down that hallway about a dozen times by now, and if you had thought that anyone else but me was in here, I doubt you would have been that nervous to come in.”

Realising that he wasn’t going to get out of this that easily, Hunter finally decided to drop the act and admit why he was really here. He just had to accept the risk that instead of improving his relationship with his ex, he might make things even worse.

“Alright," he sighed conceding, "ignoring the fact that Coulson really should have invested in a place with thicker walls, I'll admit, there actually is something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Bobbi didn’t appear to be in the mood for talking, however, and so she turned her back on Hunter and headed back into the gym, clearly hoping that he would get the message and leave her alone.

“As you can see, I’m a little busy at the moment, so right now is really not the best time for that,” she replied as she resumed her former position on the weight pressing bench.

Hunter shook his head as he stepped into the doorway and leaned with one arm against the wooden frame, dismissing her objection.

“No, it’s fine, you keep training, I just need you to listen anyway. There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a long time, something...” he hesitated for a moment, but then took a deep breath and continued, “something I’ve been keeping from you.”

Even though he had almost expected her to become angry at this confession, Bobbi didn’t seem to mind that Hunter was having secrets from her, judging by the faint grin that spread on her lips as she replied.

“What, that you’re still desperately in love with me?” she asked, the grin turning into a smirk as she started pressing a heavy weight into the air. In her concentration, the blond agent didn’t even notice the slighty wounded expression that passed over Hunter’s features at her words.

“Haha, no,” he replied, but without even so much as a trace of humour in his voice. “Like that’s much of a secret, anyway,” he muttered, sure that Bobbi couldn’t understand him over the distance.

As she glanced at him questioningly in return, he quickly moved on, not wanting to make this conversation any more uncomfortable than he already knew it was going to be.

“But I’m being serious here, Bobbi, and this isn’t about us, not really anyway. It’s about me actually, me and my family.” At this point he finally stepped fully into the room and closed the door behind him, not wanting anyone else to overhear what he was going to say.

“You know how much I always hated it when you kept secrets from me—­”

“Yes, I think the subject came up once or twice during our marriage,” the blond agent agreed as she pushed the weight in her hands back onto the rack. The metal structure shook under the force of the impact, as Bobbi abandoned her workout for the moment and sat up, giving Hunter an irritated glare.

Sighing, the mercenary stepped further into the room, frustrated by his ex-wife's behaviour, but doing his best to keep his own temper in check. He didn’t want to let things escalate into a full blown argument before he had even had the chance to say what he had come here for.

“Oh, bloody hell. Alright, I probably deserve that tone, but I'm actually trying to tell you something important here and trust me, this isn’t exactly easy for me. So if you could hold off on the passive-aggressiveness just this once, I’d really appreciate it.”

At first Bobbi rolled her eyes at Hunter’s request, but as she seemed to realise how serious he was about all of this, she finally nodded and indicated for him to continue.

“Well, as I said, I never liked it when you kept secrets from me, but the truth is that even while we were married, I’ve been keeping one from you as well.” He could see Bobbi’s face hardening, so he hurried to continue before she had the chance to say anything.

“I never told you a lot about my parents, did I?” Hunter asked, and the personal subject seemed to soften his ex-wife’s mood again, at least for the moment.

While the mercenary went over to the side of the room to pick up one of the chairs standing there, Bobbi replied in a surprisingly friendly tone.

“Just that you weren’t close, and that your mom died a while before we met.”

“Yeah, and that’s all true,” Hunter confirmed as he sat down opposite from her. There was a small smile on his lips, although it couldn’t belie the look of sadness in his eyes that became even more apparent as he went on with his story. “But the thing is, the reason why I became so distant to them wasn’t because we didn't get along or anything. It was, because they’d been lying to me; and not just once, but basically all my life.”

He could see Bobbi’s lips moving at this point, as she must have figured out where his story was heading, but in the end she remained quiet and allowed Hunter to continue.

“When I was still a kid, my parents would often be gone for days, weeks, sometimes months even, while they left me alone with my aunt. Of course they always had a really good explanation for why they had to go, but I just knew that there was more to it, that they were lying to me or at least not telling me the whole truth. I knew they loved me, obviously, but it still made me so bloody angry that there always seemed to be something more important than me, and the older I got, the angrier I became.”

For a moment the mercenary leaned back in his chair and stared blindly up at the ceiling, his thoughts wandering back decades.

“I mean, even then I knew they probably had their reasons, but as a child, they were the most important people in my life. Yet they kept putting me to the side and always left me in the dark about what was really going on, and in a way, I _hated_ them for that.”

Hunter fell silent for a moment, swallowing hard, as he had become slightly choked up at this point. He had never said a word about any of this to anyone, as it wasn’t exactly a fond memory, but going by the look on Bobbi’s face, she didn’t completely understand his reservations about the topic.

“Hunter, I was your wife, why did you never tell me about that? Why would you keep something like that a secret from me?” she asked, finally managing to pull his attention back to the present. There was barely concealed regret in his eyes as the mercenary looked straight at her.

“Because that’s not it, it’s not the secret I’ve been keeping. At least not all of it,” he admitted, his expression slightly guilty.

“Then what is?” Bobbi now asked, her voice wary.

“Well, as you know, my mum got sick and passed away a few months before we met,” Hunter continued to explain, running a hand over the back of his neck absentmindedly, “so back then I went home again for the first time in years to say goodbye to her. I honestly had no intention of bringing up any of the old stuff again; not at that point. I just… I didn’t want to fight anymore. But then one day, when I was keeping my mom company, she suddenly started telling me the truth about her and my dad without me even so much as asking.” He shook his head slightly at the memory, still surprised about his mother’s confession even after all this time.

“I’d never seen her like that before. My mum was tough – always. Kind-hearted, yeah, but she never let anything get to her. But when we talked that day I could tell how sad she was about missing that much of my childhood; how much she regretted it. She even asked me for forgiveness for lying to me all those times. And then she finally, after years of just watching our family fall apart, explained to me why she and my father had done it. Why they had practically abandoned me as a kid. It was because they’d been SHIELD agents.”

Bobbi looked at him dumbfounded for a moment, but then her expression quickly changed into one of disbelief, in spite of how sincere her ex-husband appeared to be.

“What, no, your parents weren’t with SHIELD, Hunter. Don’t you think I would have found out about that when I did a background check on you? And trust me, I was thorough.”

The mercenary let out a small laugh at this, as he had not a single doubt that his ex had looked into every aspect of his life before letting their relationship become serious in the first place. He always tried not to let that bother him, though.

“Yes, they _were_ SHIELD agents, but their files were sealed after they had left the agency. If you don’t believe me, ask Coulson. I’m sure he still thinks I don’t know about them, but he definitely knows the truth.”

The agent still didn’t look completely convinced, but at least for the moment she seemed to be willing to accept Hunter’s word. As the mercenary continued with his explanation, however, he noticed his ex-wife’s eyes narrowing ever so slightly. A bad sign, as he knew all too well from experience, prompting him to tread as carefully as possible.

“Bobbi, I know, what I’m going to tell you now isn’t going to be easy to hear, but it’d be nice if you actually gave me the chance to explain myself, before you go on and rip off my head, alright?” He waited for her to reluctantly nod in agreement before continuing, but even then his tone was still noticeably tense, a part of him actually concerned that she might react violently to what he was about to say.

“You remember the first time we met, at that party on the pier? It was already incredibly warm that night and you were wearing that gorgeous dress that made you look like a goddess.”

Hunter wasn’t entirely sure if compliments really were the way to go right now, but then again, he figured that anything that might put Bobbi in a better mood before he revealed the whole truth to her was worth a shot. He knew that she was probably well aware of what he was doing, but considering the small smile on his ex’s lips as she replied, his tactic seemed to be working nevertheless.

“Yes, of course I remember,” she replied softly, a nostalgic look in her eyes. “I was there following a target and when you started hitting on me, I figured that that would make it easier to maintain my cover. I’m still not sure how you managed to convince me to go out with you instead,” she mused, a light-hearted chuckle escaping her lips.

“I mean, I still finished the job, obviously, but when I came back later that night after the mission had been wrapped up, you were still at the pier. You’d spent hours waiting for me – as you had promised – even though pretty much everyone else had left by that point,” Bobbi recalled.

There was a sparkle in the blond woman’s eyes at this point that Hunter hadn’t seen in a long time and he realised with surprise and relief that she still considered this a fond memory, despite the difficult history they both shared by now. However, the look on Bobbi’s face only made it harder for the mercenary to continue. He averted his eyes to the floor, knowing the possible impact of what he was going to say next.

“Yeah, but you see, the truth is that it wasn’t a coincidence that I approached you that night. And it wasn’t, because you were the most beautiful woman at that party, either. Although you absolutely were,” he hurried to add, not wanting to get on his ex’s bad side any more than necessary.

“No, the real reason why I made a move on you, why I was even there in the first place, was because I knew you were with SHIELD and I was looking for a way to get a foot in the door with them.”

The silence that followed this confession was so tense that Hunter almost didn’t dare to breathe, while Bobbi looked at him incredulously, the startled expression on her face quickly being replaced by one of pure anger.

“So what, are you telling me that you were just using me all that time?” she asked, the emotions in her voice barely held in check.

Hunter chuckled humourlessly at this, causing Bobbi’s expression to harden even further. Of course he knew he couldn’t blame her for her reaction – he was the one at fault in this, after all – and yet he just couldn’t help but feel disappointed that his ex-wife would actually think something like that of him.

“No, love, if I had wanted to use you, I would have gone out with you a few times, had sex with you and then moved on, I wouldn’t have _married_ you. I admit, at first I was flirting with you to get in contact with SHIELD, but once I started to get to know you, I just fell completely, _madly_ in love with you and my priorities simply changed. And just to make this clear,” he continued, emphasising his words by unconsciously lifting his right hand as if he were taking an oath, “it wasn’t as if I ever had some grand evil scheme to betray you or anything. I just wanted to find out more about the organisation my parents had been working for and that had always been so much more important to them than me.”

At this point Hunter broke off once again and glanced at Bobbi carefully, waiting for her to reply something. The anger from before had disappeared from her face by now, instead being replaced by a completely unreadable expression. The only thing that quickly became obvious was that she wasn’t ready to say anything else yet, and so Hunter went on after a few seconds, unable to bear the heavy silence between them.

“But as I said, over time things changed, and when I started doing the occasional job for SHIELD, it was just as much because you asked me to, as it was out of curiosity for my parent’s past. I never used you, Bobbi, I never abused your trust in me, and I definitely never lied to you about my feelings for you. I mean, we were happy and that was more important to me than some ancient history, so I had no reason to force anything.” He hesitated for a brief moment, his expression thoughtful, unsure how to continue. When he finally did, there was a vulnerability in his voice that seemed to surprise Bobbi even more than it did him.

“We _were_ happy, weren’t we? Before all the fighting started, and the secrets, and my nagging, there actually was a time when we were just a happy couple, right?”

“Of course we were happy,” the blond agent replied, her voice soft and carrying a faint note of nostalgia. “I loved you so much, and I knew that you loved me, and at least for a while that was enough. Until it wasn’t anymore. But I think now I finally understand why.”

Hunter nodded, honestly glad to hear that.

“You were the love of my life, Bob, the most important person in the world to me, but I just couldn’t stand by while you were lying to my face and keeping all those secrets from me. Not again, not after what I had been through growing up. Plus, I just knew that if I kept letting you do that to me, I was going to end up hating you, like I had hated my parents, and I didn't want that to happen. So instead I kept bugging you, kept asking questions and pressing you for answers, even though I already knew that you couldn’t give me any.”

There was a sad smile on his lips as Hunter thought back to that time, knowing that all his stories about his evil ex-wife had been a gross exaggeration meant to hide his own part in the destruction of their relationship. While Bobbi clearly hadn’t been perfect, either, she had certainly never deserved all the things he had said about her in the past.

“But I guess forcing you to push me away somehow seemed like a better way to end our marriage than to become cold and bitter and hateful because of something neither of us could help,” he admitted, finally coming to the end of his long overdue confession.

However, even though she was clearly touched by his words, Bobbi still looked at her ex with a sceptical expression.

“Hunter, why are you telling me this now? You never said a word about any of this when we were still married, when it could have actually helped me understand you better, so why now?”

The mercenary nodded in agreement and ran a hand across his eyes wearily, clearly not used to opening up like this to anyone anymore.

“You’re right; I know that I should have told you all this years ago, but back then I just didn’t want you to doubt me or the feelings I had for you. I know that that part of our lives is over and it’s too late to save it. But, as it looks like we’ll be working together more often from now on, I thought that telling you the truth might perhaps give us another chance, you know, to actually get along for once. I guess I just hoped that if you could understand why I was such a terrible husband to you in the past, maybe spending time with each other in the future isn’t going to be so painfully awkward anymore.”

He stood up from his chair now and took a few steps towards the door, but then turned to Bobbi once more and continued.

“Also, I figured that with Hydra and everyone else out there trying to kill us, now might actually be a good time to stop trying to claw each other’s eyes out all the time. I’m not so sure if you and me as friends could ever work out, but I thought that at this point, we could maybe at least settle for ‘mutually respectful co-workers’ instead of arch enemies. What do you say?”

“Sure, we can do that,” Bobbi quickly agreed with a wide smile, obviously a lot more comfortable and at ease around the mercenary than she had been in a very long time.

“Alright, good.” Hunter nodded in reply, but as he was already headed for the door to leave, the agent held him back once more, standing up from the bench in the process.

“Hunter!”

“What?” he asked as he turned back around to her, still slightly wary that this conversation might somehow end up in a fight after all, despite all the progress they had made so far. As a result he was all the more surprised when he finally heard what Bobbi had to say to him.

“I know our marriage was often difficult, but just for the record, you weren’t a terrible husband, not always. And just because things between us didn’t work out, doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you anymore. So thank you for being honest with me.”

At this point Bobbi approached the mercenary and his breath caught in his throat for a second as she closed the distance between them. In the end she just placed a small kiss on his cheek, though, and while Hunter thought that she had lingered for the briefest of moments, he couldn’t be entirely sure if he hadn’t just imagined it, either.

After that, the agent picked up the water bottle and towel that had been lying next to her training station and left the gym while her ex-husband looked after her, fighting the sudden urge to follow her and return the kiss. Only with a proper one this time.

In the end, however, he just shook his head and headed towards his own room instead, knowing that one honest conversation between him and Bobbi wasn’t enough to undo the years they had spent hurting each other and that they were probably both better off apart.

Of course, even though a part of him actually believed that, it didn’t mean that he didn’t miss her. It didn’t change the fact that his feelings for her were growing stronger again every day that he was seeing her right there in front of him, but at the same time still out of his reach.

Nevertheless, he had made the decision to stay away from Bobbi for a good reason. Considering their track record so far, Hunter was painfully aware that if he didn’t, things would just be headed towards disaster yet again. And they already had enough of those in their lives as it was, without him messing everything up any further.

Although Bobbi Morse was the expert when it came to undercover work and deception, she wasn’t the only one who could play a part; so for now he was going to play his. He was going to keep the one thing a secret that Bobbi had never been able to see – when it was probably more than clear to everyone else – and that was just how much she truly meant to him.

Even though they obviously weren’t meant to be.

 

**_The End_ **

 

**Author's Note:**

> This plotline gets further developed in my story "Poison", so check it out! ;)


End file.
